We Miss the Old Kanye

20161205_021255 Kanye West gets on my last nerve at times. His long-winded speeches and random Twitter rants leave me shaking my head wishing he would shut up sometimes. Whether he’s slamming his ex Amber Rose by talking crazy about her son or admitting to the world that he supports Donald Trump, he definitely knows how to stay relevant. He pisses us off so bad that we quickly forget how we felt when we were introduced to him as a musical genius who has since become a loving husband and father. During his most recent meltdown, after performing three songs at his concert in Los Angeles, he ranted and raved on stage, dropped the mic and walked off. Angry fans demanded their money back as the video from the show went viral, leaving many people confused and concerned about his well-being. My first reaction was, “Here goes Kanye again with his foolishness”. A few days later on November 21, he was admitted to UCLA Medical Center for exhaustion and cancelled his remaining tour dates. He ended up staying in the hospital under psychiatric watch for nine days and was released a few days ago.

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There are a few details I must point out. Kim was robbed at gunpoint in Paris on October 3 while Kanye was in New York. Recent reports state that he had been having nightmares ever since the robbery occurred. The anniversary of his mother Donda’s death is on November 10. It has been said that he starts acting a little different around this time every year. According to the Huffington Post, Kanye’s psych med dosage was a bit off ( I think he stopped taking them) which led to his meltdown. Anyone that knows Kanye understands that he is an emotional and passionate person. I don’t want to speak too much on his mother because I have never lost a parent so I can’t fully relate. I can only imagine how it feels to lose your mother, especially when they were so close. I don’t know how he deals with the loss or if he ever truly dealt with it but I assume that can trigger certain behaviors and mental illness such as depression (he has been open about his diagnosis). It is pretty obvious that after she died, Kanye changed. He isn’t the same College Dropout Kanye that we grew to love. You add the fame aspect to that (some folks get sick of being famous) and his lack of sleep, I’m not too surprised that he broke down the way he did.

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Sometimes we forget that celebrities are human beings. As annoying as Kanye can be, I don’t want to see him hurt. Just because he is rich and privileged, we see him as having “rich people problems” AKA issues that aren’t that serious. I want to see him win but when he starts buggin out, we, the people, are quick to write him off. People make jokes and become insensitive. Society has taught us that men aren’t supposed to show emotion, especially BLACK MEN. Mental illness? What’s that? Regardless of how Hollywood Kanye has become, he is still a Black man. In our community, the topic of mental illness is so taboo. It is brushed off and treated as if it doesn’t exist. We love to throw the word crazy around but don’t want to admit that someone just may be suffering from an illness that makes them truly go crazy. We love telling our people to go to church and pray about it. Some people really need therapy and medication to control their condition. There is absolutely nothing wrong with praying to God for healing while going to sit on a therapist’s couch. You can do both! It’s okay! I have done it. After I had my son, my emotional roller coaster was on 10. I would randomly cry and feel super down and it scared me to death. I called my doctor ASAP because IF I was suffering from postpartum depression, I needed to nip that in the bud quickly. What kind of mother could I be to my child if I was depressed? Even though I was not diagnosed, I accepted the help that was offered to me as a preventative measure. There are so many people in this world that suffer from mental illness and either don’t know it, are in denial about it or have been diagnosed and have not gotten the help they need. We must educate ourselves. Seeing a therapist is not a sign of weakness. Self-care is vital if we want to live our best lives.

Even though I am guilty of judging him sometimes, I’m rooting for Kanye. We miss the old Kanye. Get better soon.

Photo source: Kim Kardashian’s Instagram

Mommy. Editor. Writer. PR Woman. Pop Culture Junkie. Jamerican. Blessed.

About Portia Nicole

Mommy. Editor. Writer. PR Woman. Pop Culture Junkie. Jamerican. Blessed.

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